"I've always dreamt of travel
Why should we die where we were born?
I wasn’t planning on making a blog post today,
but then I hadn’t got anything to do so I decided to write a post about not
having anything to do in your new country.
I’m not sure if no one ever talks about
loneliness. It’s such a weird thing and in some way it’s a taboo to admit that
you feel lonely. I think everyone have felt lonely at some point in their lives
and I think there are different kinds of loneliness and not all of them have to
be negative, but none the less it’s still loneliness if you feel lonely. I
remember when I moved to Ireland I started feeling lonely quite quickly. I think
it started around five days after my arrival. Suddenly the days started feeling
really long and I would go to bed really early because I didn’t know what I was
supposed to do. I wasn’t unhappy, in fact I was happy. But sometimes you still
want someone to share your stories with and talk to. The social part of my life
was suddenly just not satisfied anymore.
After five days in Poland I have started to
feel the same way. As for now I only have my computer and internet through my
phone. So there really aren’t many options on what to do. No TV, no Netflix. Or
maybe the creativity of the human mind is failing. Yes, you can
go for a walk or explore the city. But it’s easier said than done. Especially
here in Poland because it just takes a little more of you to actually go
somewhere because of the language barrier. And when you have 24 hours in a day
and sleep maybe eight of them you have 16 left. I mean if I have to go for a
walk for 16 hours a day I might as well get half way to Denmark. You just don’t
do that and you just don’t want people telling you to go for a walk, because it
doesn’t really solve the problem. It’s still the social part that you start
missing and it’s not gonna come by strolling down the street. Yes, it makes
time move quicker, just like watching a film does. However, what you start
missing is talking to someone that you know or actually seeing someone you
know. To have someone actually sitting in the same room as you. You get desperate and you would probably be happy if your worst enemy walked past you on the street.
When I’ve been in Denmark I could go a month
without seeing anyone and I wouldn’t even think of it. But in Denmark you know
that they are there somewhere. But in Poland they just aren’t there, so you suddenly
crave the social part even more because you know you can’t have it. At least
that is how I feel. Also everyone at home have their lives and are busy with
it. So they don’t really think: “Oh, Aprilia is sitting in Poland all by
herself, let me ask if she wants to Skype.” No, it’s just not happening. My
friends still have their friends. If they didn’t the situation would suddenly
be different. But the truth is that they most likely don’t even spare you a
thought and who can blame them. I would probably be the same. You don’t feel
how other people are feeling and why should you?
With that said I feel like it’s important to
note that I am NOT unhappy and I am NOT on my way back to Denmark. Long days
just make you restless and when you don’t have many options on how to solve
the restlessness it turns slightly into loneliness. When I was in Ireland the
loneliness disappeared as I got to know my surroundings better. Here I know it’s
gonna disappear as soon as I start working. Getting a routine is probable the
best solution to a lot of things. But I also know that I will get colleagues
and hopefully some great ones. It’s a process to build a life in another
country and it takes time. I know this because I tried it before. In Ireland it
wasn’t until I had to depart that I actually started making arrangements with
people. But it was also a different situation as I didn’t work. Here I’m sure
it’s gonna come automatically and it’s probably also going to go pretty quick.
Of course I have spoken to my dad already a few
times while I’ve been here and I know I will continue to do that. Even when I
am in Denmark I speak to my dad often. If too many days is going to pass it
will feel too weird. My dad and I have had this Sunday arrangement the last
times I’ve been away and I think we are probably just going to continue with
it. For me it’s really nice to know that I have one day a week where I know for
sure I am going to speak to him. It kind of makes me excited about every
Sunday, because I love talking to my dad and telling him about everything that
is going on. But also to hear if there are any news back home.
Moving to a new country is a process and it
takes time. You can’t expect everything to be perfect from day one. However, it’s
the way you decide to act that probably makes the different. E.g. has
everything gone smoothly for me so far. I haven’t had any problems with getting
my apartment and sorting out my doctor’s appointments and so on. I know the
rest is going to go smoothly as well and if it doesn’t I’ll figure it out
still.
I’ve become quite addicted to Lukas Graham’s
song Take the World by Storm. Most of the times you listen to a song because it’s
good and then once in a while you find one that you can actually relate to and
I can relate to this song. Because it’s basically how I’ve felt.
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